What to Do When Someone You Love is Spiraling Out of Control

Perhaps you're witnessing something that you know is detrimental and you want to help, but you're not sure what to do.

The signs show themselves in many ways. It could be flakiness from a usually reliable friend, or outbursts of anger over small things. Maybe you notice some extreme weight loss or weight gain in a short period of time.

If you are witnessing this, or perhaps have been there before, you might guess what some of the contributing factors could be:

On the surface it might seem like normal stress, anxiety, and overwhelm. But the truth could be much more serious than typical work and life stress.

Determining the components and causes of someone’s unhappiness and unhealthiness is a critical first step.

Many people may be receptive to their loved ones approaching them with a peaceful and loving tone, in a neutral environment, and expressing their concerns.

An open and non-judgmental conversation is the best way to open this door, begin a dialog, and hopefully start the healing process.

Unfortunately there are some situations where the person may be completely unreceptive and/or too far gone for that to happen.

Many years ago, when watching a friend suffer terribly under similar circumstances, I asked a very wise man an important question.

“What can you do when you know you can help someone in your life that is struggling? If they would just be open and listen, could you help them improve their life, health, and happiness?”

I waited anxiously for this sage advice, hoping I was going to receive the answer that would help me make a difference in my friend’s life.

But the answer I got was crushing:

“Nothing. There is nothing you can do. That person has to come to their own realization, hit their own rock bottom, and decide on their own terms that they are ready to make a change or pursue a better life. Only then will their heart be open enough to receive any help that another person offers them.”

This was heart-wrenching to hear.

But because I have experienced this myself and have seen it among many others throughout my lifetime since then, I know it is the truth.

I believe most of us have struggled with depression on some level at some stage in life. Or at least a feeling of unworthiness, or that we are kind of a lost cause.

I can’t count how many times I have fallen off track in life, only to go down a dark path or in a direction I know deep down was not meant for me. Each time I recovered from one of these lows, there was always the same catalyst that began my journey to recovery: my decision to make a change in my life.

For anyone who's struggling, I have a few tools and tricks I recommend to make a positive change.

I’ve used these techniques in the past to return from a dark place, and continue to incorporate them in my life on a regular basis; they help me stay grounded, centered, and in a positive state of mind.

Each person’s personal basics are different, but when looking at the majority of people who are happy and healthy, there are many common denominators.

Here is a breakdown:

The most important thing to remember is that it starts with a decision and ONE SINGLE STEP.

Consistent, small steps will change your life. Just one step. Every. Single. Day.

Remember to stay grounded in your core values and beliefs.

Ask yourself these simple questions:

Keep these things close; the further we get away from our driving forces, the further we get away from our true self.